I learned Social Media from my Parents.

Have you ever taken a long look at the dynamics that make up your family?  I mean really looked at who in the family is the one that really made the family stick together and foster all of the communication?  I grew up in a great family, and when I first started dating my wife, she actually called my family the “white picket fence family” because we all got along, loved one another, and were always happy.  In looking at this statement I would have to say I agreed with her, I had a great childhood, and would not have changed anything that my parents did in their parenting practices at all.

About 10 years ago just before my wife and I were about to get married my mother passed away with Cancer.  I would be lying to you if I did not tell you this was devastating for me even as an adult.  I love my mother very much and could always count on her to make sure we all got together.  I was blessed with the fact that my parents went against the odds and made their marriage work.  See recent research has now shown more people get a divorce then stay together, so kudos to them for making it all work and making it seem so seamless to us.

Now the dynamics of my family have changed, and things are very different then they were 10 years ago.  My family has grown with 2 kids, my father has now remarried, and my sister is married with a child as well.  I still love my family very much but have noticed that the overall dynamics of our family have changed over the years.  We chat one the phone, and try and get together when we can but it is obviously not the same, and when I sit and think about that it actually is depressing.  I wish we still had the “white picket fence family” vibe going, but things are different.

In looking at the way my family is now, it is very clear my mother was the matriarch of the family and the glue that kept everyone communicating so much all growing up.  Now I am not saying my father, my sister, and I do not communicate, but there is a big difference from the way we chatted and hung out before and the way we communicate now.

So I have learned a very big lesson in this life experience that I have gone through over the last 10 years.  Communication is hard and requires a great deal of work.  This is in both the personal world as well as the professional world.  In looking at the lessons my parents taught me, we learned you should always try and be as personable as possible when dealing with people.  This is something that I try and install in my children today and I hope they receive the same message as I did.

One has to realize that communication is a two sided exercise.  It is not alright to just talk and not to listen.  You can gain a great deal of information by just allowing yourself to take in what the other person is saying.  You can learn from their communication habits, and interpret their emotions.  I would have long conversations with my mother sometimes and I would just talk and talk and I now realize that she would listen to take in all that was going on in my life. See the act of listening allows you to gain a true sense of who that person is, and what they are feeling.  In other times my mother would do all of the talking and I would just listen, sometimes it just feels good to say what is on your mind.

Social media and all of the fancy tools all breaks down to some of the basic and fundamental things we all learned when we were growing up.  See just as your parents probably taught you, we need to spend just as much time listening to others as well as talking.  In addition I think if in your communications you try and be as personable as possible, you will come across as a more genuine person.  This is key in social media and life, with all of our communications.  See the issue with all of this is that you want to establish a personal bond with all of those you communicate with every time.  Now the level of that personal bond will vary based on the objective of the conversation, but I can assure you that the more you connect with people the more you gain out of the conversation.

So what are the take aways from this all:

1. Communication can be hard for some and requires work.
2. The more you practice the better you get.
3. When talking or writing to someone make sure you spend equal amounts of time listening as well as talking.
4. Be as personable as the situation allows.  Think about it we all would rather talk to someone that is nice and caring then someone that just wants us to say what they need and go away.
5. Spend more time with your family, and thank your parents.  I think to many this may seem obvious but you never know what will happen in life.  I loved my mother and wish she were still around today.

Life is unpredictable make each conversation count, you never know who can help you out based on a conversation or connection you have made.

Be Well
Frank

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